I've never begged.
Whoever sees this, my name is C. I'm a mother to five. Seriously ill now. 4 of the children have the same disease as me , two with serious complications. The fifth child is anorexic and delutional but was fine two yrs ago. I manage and care for everything alone, struggling now to feed my kids because of medical bills. Trying to get each child all the help they need, all suffer from anxiety.My husband makes enough so we cant get help but he spends uncontrolled. I am Married to a man who developed mental illness two years ago. He has two completely different faces. His soul is split. The one face enjoys tearing me down and trampling my heart while claiming God is directing him. I've been divided for months. Do I go and abandon my husband who is sick and also risk that my children are unprotected with him during visitations? Or… do I stay and watch my babies tip toe around him, the youngest child most affected, a sweet loving boundaries suddenly angry… my do!
ctors tell me the emotional abuse is making me sicker.. both paths are bad. Both are evil. My Christian friends are divided I've prayed for hours daily, rebuked, read dozens of books, begged pastors for help….. I have nothing left to do.. so I wait. I hear nothing. I started to fight back, not allowing the yelling, calling him out, and things are worse now. Pray for me but first for my children. Whatever demon is in my husband won't leave. He refuses help, denies everything no matter how much evidence is in front of him. I love the man I married but I see him less and less. My flesh wants to go, but my lawyer said that because he has not been aggressive and no one has witnessed his verbal and emotional abuse of me…. I cannot protect the children. The children see him different but they describe coldness, angry… not enough in court.. how if he is mentally ill can he fake being a godly man when others are watching? He spent everything, the utilities will be!
shut off. We have two cars and a house and he wants to put a loan against our home which has no mortgage. He is happy and excited about this, but I am trembling because tomorrow I will refuse to sign. Pray please. I'm desperate. I need a third path. We need a miracle. The children and I pray together and I cover them day and night, yet they are always sick. Pain in my body is twisting my bones, taking away my ability to walk and sometimes drive. I don't understand. I repent of every sin I see and obey to the best of my ability and oh how I love the Lord. My youngest, age 4, suddenly became angry and anxious..he is a savant I've been told. My 15 year old suffers through severe anxiety and is going blind. Help please. Utilities will be cut, food is too low. I'm scared

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