I have had severe depression for the past few months, and daily fight against the suicidal thoughts that brings. I have told my parents and we are seeking help, but it hasn't gotten better. I have had so many problems with self-worth all my life and this is just making it worse. I feel so ignored and worthless. Life's meaning has faded and I'm struggling not to get mad at God. Before I thought I was quite mature in my faith, and my friends said so, but then why is this happening? I also just started having a problem with cutting myself. Before I didn't know why people did it and now I can beraly keep myself from doing it. It feels so wrong yet I don't know why I long to do it. I also suffer from demonic torture in the form of night terrors. I have lost my will to live and am alive only because I do not have access to any satisfiable weopons. It's just so hard to even get up in the morning. I need peace and joy in this trial.

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