Feeling like a complete failure! I really did it this time! God recently blessed me with the best job I have had and helped me get all of my children back in my life after 6 years! I recently turned 50 and while in my hometown I smoked weed with old friends from childhood. Then a week later I get sent for a random drug test! Its going to cause me to lose my job and license if I fail! Still waiting on the results shamefully and scared to death! I dont know what to do. Im just praying and promising God I wont ever drink or do anything like this again wether I pass or not!! Either way this is my point of turning my alcohol addiction to God and promising to be a better husband father friend and employee!! Ive had many chances before Ive been blessed and now its like Ive thrown it all away for nothing, nothing but regret embarrassment guilt! Im so unworthy but I still pray that I wont lose my kids wife and job and my saviors mercy! Any prayers will help me and encourage me cause Im at rock bottom!


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